








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Faceit | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4020 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3662 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3807 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1959 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3087 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,160,798 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herbert L. | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | dasdingmitsosse | 57% | 191 |
| #3 | Sirr0m | 54% | 112 |
| #4 | Oni | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | Ironhydes | 53% | 234 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dasdingmitsosse | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Mr. Kanister | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Ironhydes | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Oni | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Sirr0m | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sirr0m | 581 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #2 | Ironhydes | 537 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | dasdingmitsosse | 371 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Herbert L. | 111 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Oni | 105 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sirr0m | +1.63 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | Ironhydes | +1.58 | 78 | 61 |
| #3 | dasdingmitsosse | +0.99 | 73 | 58 |
| #4 | Jonny | +0.37 | 70 | 65 |
| #5 | Oni | +0.31 | 60 | 54 |





