








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 246 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 452 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6244 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4455 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4605 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4448 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5642 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,754,833 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HonkeBonkers | 60% | 77 |
| #2 | Jonny | 57% | 191 |
| #3 | Ironhydes | 55% | 156 |
| #4 | mattocardo | 53% | 57 |
| #5 | Sirr0m | 53% | 323 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sirr0m | 22 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Revaaz | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Oni | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Guido | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | DaviD | 6 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sirr0m | 1744 | 0.26 | 40 min |
| #2 | Revaaz | 641 | 0.24 | 20 min |
| #3 | Guido | 570 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | Jonny | 568 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #5 | DaviD | 440 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Revaaz | +2.43 | 80 | 72 |
| #2 | DaviD | +2.17 | 78 | 68 |
| #3 | Ironhydes | +1.88 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | mattocardo | +1.28 | 86 | 65 |
| #5 | Sirr0m | +0.86 | 78 | 65 |





