










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,147 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 922 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2164 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3372 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2689 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $858,251 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 596 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fleats | 513 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Fxbric | 381 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | beretta | 178 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kavz | 121 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | jeangotti | 120 | 0.08 | 2 min |





