








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 778 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 505 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3968 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3521 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 6854 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 4711 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,145,994 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1924 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mzry | 68% | 71 |
| #2 | Edith Puthee | 62% | 52 |
| #3 | seto | 61% | 79 |
| #4 | BenTheBlaster18 | 61% | 38 |
| #5 | +jump | 60% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | seto | 61% | 79 |
| #4 | BenTheBlaster18 | 61% | 38 |
| #5 | +jump | 60% | 92 |
| #6 | HipP0p | 53% | 80 |
| #7 | cho1zes | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HipP0p | 51 | 0.0301 |
| #2 | mzry | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Edith Puthee | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | BenTheBlaster18 | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | +jump | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seto | 322 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | HipP0p | 230 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | mzry | 196 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | +jump | 152 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | BenTheBlaster18 | 93 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mzry | +4.43 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | ozzie | +1.81 | 86 | 52 |
| #3 | +jump | +0.77 | 79 | 52 |
| #4 | BenTheBlaster18 | +0.71 | 72 | 69 |
| #5 | HipP0p | +0.31 | 73 | 51 |





