








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 436 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4073 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,916 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5022 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6187 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5920 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5787 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,427,472 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 484 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | โโ ๐ชโ๐ฉโแถฐ โฅ | 55% | 38 |
| #2 | cKoL# | 46% | 351 |
| #3 | Homo Faber | 46% | 252 |
| #4 | Gonzo | 45% | 83 |
| #5 | Hudha | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | cKoL# | 46% | 351 |
| #3 | Homo Faber | 46% | 252 |
| #4 | Gonzo | 45% | 83 |
| #5 | Hudha | 43% | 30 |
| #6 | Bullet | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gonzo | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | cKoL# | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Homo Faber | 3 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cKoL# | 1101 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #2 | Homo Faber | 257 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | Gonzo | 245 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Bullet | 113 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hudha | 55 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | โโ ๐ชโ๐ฉโแถฐ โฅ | +1.47 | 63 | 67 |
| #2 | Bullet | +1.02 | 33 | 73 |
| #3 | cKoL# | +0.28 | 71 | 66 |
| #4 | Gonzo | +0.24 | 59 | 57 |
| #5 | egoist | -0.25 | 52 | 69 |





