








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 314 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1995 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,550 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2561 | 46% |
| Smokes | 1254 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1479 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 256 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $747,008 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3944 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mdbk | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | satoru | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Scooby jew | 57% | 143 |
| #4 | Crims0n | 55% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mdbk | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | satoru | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Scooby jew | 57% | 143 |
| #4 | Crims0n | 55% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scooby jew | 37 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | mdbk | 11 | 0.0145 |
| #3 | Crims0n | 6 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | satoru | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scooby jew | 574 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | satoru | 99 | 0.41 | 3 min |
| #3 | mdbk | 84 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Crims0n | 23 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mdbk | +7.13 | 95 | 63 |
| #2 | satoru | +6.88 | 96 | 79 |
| #3 | Mile Gepek | +0.38 | 62 | 54 |
| #4 | Crims0n | -0.59 | 72 | 41 |
| #5 | Scooby jew | -2.47 | 32 | 58 |





