












System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
633 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 284 | 14% |
| Smokes | 446 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 679 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 655 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $504,384 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SEDGE | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Sinzey | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | ItzWilliamDK | 66% | 35 |
| #4 | Beans | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | Sarold | 61% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ItzWilliamDK | 66% | 35 |
| #4 | Beans | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | Sarold | 61% | 80 |
| #6 | m0nke | 60% | 63 |
| #7 | Lillith | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarold | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | m0nke | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | SEDGE | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Lillith | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarold | 479 | 0.31 | 13 min |
| #2 | m0nke | 112 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | SEDGE | 95 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | ItzWilliamDK | 52 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sinzey | 47 | 0.38 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sinzey | +9.22 | 96 | 82 |
| #2 | SEDGE | +5.22 | 85 | 68 |
| #3 | Sarold | +3.99 | 68 | 74 |
| #4 | m0nke | +0.53 | 48 | 55 |
| #5 | Beans | -1.53 | 43 | 29 |





