










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 999 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,701 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3370 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2086 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2139 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2106 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $533,539 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SEDGE | 70% | 50 |
| #2 | ItzWilliamDK | 69% | 52 |
| #3 | m0nke | 68% | 106 |
| #4 | Cypoos | 61% | 80 |
| #5 | dannot | 53% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SEDGE | 70% | 50 |
| #2 | ItzWilliamDK | 69% | 52 |
| #3 | m0nke | 68% | 106 |
| #4 | Cypoos | 61% | 80 |
| #5 | dannot | 53% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0nke | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Cypoos | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | ItzWilliamDK | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | SEDGE | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | dannot | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0nke | 182 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | SEDGE | 171 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | dannot | 132 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Cypoos | 97 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | ItzWilliamDK | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SEDGE | +3.88 | 85 | 73 |
| #2 | Sarold | +2.68 | 68 | 70 |
| #3 | m0nke | +0.45 | 52 | 55 |
| #4 | dannot | -0.74 | 58 | 62 |
| #5 | ItzWilliamDK | -1.77 | 25 | 50 |





