








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 657 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4628 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,358 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1332 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1687 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1534 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1805 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,222,493 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 404 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝒱𝒶𝓂𝓅𝓎 | 31 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | KAIL | 12 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Ȃ̶̧T̸̎͘L̴̿́À̴̈S̵ | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | huffinfumes | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | ᴘɪɴᴋ ɢᴜʏ | 4 | 0.0016 |





