








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,723 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 645 | 24% |
| Smokes | 443 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1183 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 452 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $515,923 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhereTheGothGirlsAt | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Jota | 41% | 68 |
| #3 | Doughnut/Donut | 41% | 69 |
| #4 | applepearabby | 36% | 42 |
| #5 | peachy | 30% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Doughnut/Donut | 41% | 69 |
| #4 | applepearabby | 36% | 42 |
| #5 | peachy | 30% | 50 |
| #6 | hypersliceOG | 23% | 13 |
| #7 | ifly27 | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jota | 15 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | Doughnut/Donut | 14 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | peachy | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | hypersliceOG | 4 | 0.0221 |
| #5 | applepearabby | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jota | 116 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Doughnut/Donut | 69 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | peachy | 47 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | hypersliceOG | 32 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | ifly27 | 29 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhereTheGothGirlsAt | +3.36 | 64 | 43 |
| #2 | villin | +1.64 | 77 | 46 |
| #3 | Jota | +0.69 | 63 | 67 |
| #4 | Doughnut/Donut | -0.05 | 47 | 52 |
| #5 | peachy | -3.62 | 31 | 52 |





