








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,781 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4530 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5710 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4422 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4119 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $391,008 of utility $31 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1871 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kris | 51% | 37 |
| #2 | RASMUS | 51% | 39 |
| #3 | ѕℓααναgяαммм | 49% | 232 |
| #4 | nex | 48% | 77 |
| #5 | HAZARD | 46% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HAZARD | 32 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | ѕℓααναgяαммм | 29 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Kris | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | nex | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | RASMUS | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ѕℓααναgяαммм | 463 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | HAZARD | 442 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | nex | 224 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | RASMUS | 185 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kris | 69 | 0.09 | 2 min |





