








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 334 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,501 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1237 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1173 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1001 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1090 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $508,463 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deaf | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | BEN MED SPENN | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | SPIZY | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | Huak Tuah | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | poKey | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poKey | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Huak Tuah | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | BEN MED SPENN | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | SPIZY | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poKey | 154 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Huak Tuah | 133 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | BEN MED SPENN | 96 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kvickern | 47 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | deaf | 44 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deaf | +3.03 | 34 | 79 |
| #2 | Kvickern | +1.85 | 50 | 78 |
| #3 | paaaco | +1.64 | 81 | 53 |
| #4 | BEN MED SPENN | +1.22 | 52 | 73 |
| #5 | Huak Tuah | +0.25 | 72 | 63 |





