








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 609 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 112 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3707 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8459 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5005 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6507 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3877 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $743,425 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2261 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | McTash | 38% | 154 |
| #3 | Juuling Cat(LostInTheSauce) | 38% | 81 |
| #4 | goldenblackfox | 37% | 52 |
| #5 | Chicken Caesar | 36% | 53 |
| #6 | Cheese.jpg | 36% | 87 |





