








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
655 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,365 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 811 | 34% |
| Smokes | 540 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 628 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 386 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $551,890 of utility $322 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sparrow | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Carl | 77% | 13 |
| #3 | ReeL | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | nine | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | mmmmmmmmmm | 65% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Golf R $LAP | 10 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | mmmmmmmmmm | 5 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Carl | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Maakus | 1 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Xyz | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mmmmmmmmmm | 95 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | Golf R $LAP | 69 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Carl | 53 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Robban | 27 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | ReeL | 27 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mmmmmmmmmm | +6.42 | 91 | 76 |
| #2 | ReeL | +5.23 | 56 | 75 |
| #3 | Robban | +5.01 | 92 | 64 |
| #4 | Carl | +4.16 | 75 | 52 |
| #5 | Sparrow | +3.65 | 73 | 62 |





