








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 787 | 31% |
| Smokes | 561 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 653 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 562 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $98,333 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🍄 sav 🍄 | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | GP ❤︎ Crashout Queen | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | Whats in the box? | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Storbrat | 60% | 45 |
| #5 | ✪bro? | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I'm a Jazz Stan omg pls love me | 5 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | JoJo | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Whats in the box? | 3 | 0.0153 |
| #4 | Mintz | 3 | 0.0214 |
| #5 | Storbrat | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Storbrat | 81 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Whats in the box? | 35 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | ✪bro? | 33 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mintz | 29 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | Aurro | 19 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Storbrat | +1.21 | 70 | 59 |
| #2 | ZHHZH | +1.06 | 66 | 49 |
| #3 | Whats in the box? | -0.05 | 36 | 50 |
| #4 | JoJo | -0.25 | 48 | 2 |
| #5 | GP ❤︎ Crashout Queen | -0.55 | 59 | 33 |





