








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2817 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3869 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5148 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3579 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3100 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,186,925 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 452 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zenk | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | Trab | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | Mirudinho otaku safado | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | Hehe | 56% | 45 |
| #5 | Tur-Sama | 55% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | pai solteiro | 52% | 60 |
| #7 | REI NA NOITE OFICIAL | 49% | 41 |
| #8 | JoN | 47% | 72 |
| #9 | bolacho | 42% | 24 |
| #10 | ** Negraska ** | 42% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trab | 29 | 0.0353 |
| #2 | Tur-Sama | 13 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | bolacho | 13 | 0.0288 |
| #4 | JoN | 11 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | pai solteiro | 11 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tur-Sama | 394 | 0.27 | 10 min |
| #2 | JoN | 252 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | ** Negraska ** | 168 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mirudinho otaku safado | 150 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Trab | 131 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mirudinho otaku safado | +2.61 | 61 | 58 |
| #2 | JoN | +2.29 | 67 | 53 |
| #3 | Trab | +2.11 | 69 | 51 |
| #4 | bolacho | +1.44 | 91 | 42 |
| #5 | Tur-Sama | +0.83 | 29 | 68 |





