








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 393 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 451 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,459 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 643 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1931 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 1434 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 451 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $884,517 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 480 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Typical_Panda | 51% | 91 |
| #2 | DILDOBALLS | 49% | 39 |
| #3 | N3rdtast1c | 49% | 187 |
| #4 | Meelo | 46% | 215 |
| #5 | ebirdyxx | 45% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DILDOBALLS | 49% | 39 |
| #3 | N3rdtast1c | 49% | 187 |
| #4 | Meelo | 46% | 215 |
| #5 | ebirdyxx | 45% | 55 |
| #6 | Ånderkover | 41% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ånderkover | 51 | 0.0208 |
| #2 | Meelo | 30 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | N3rdtast1c | 27 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | ebirdyxx | 11 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | Typical_Panda | 10 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meelo | 471 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | Ånderkover | 238 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | ebirdyxx | 212 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | N3rdtast1c | 138 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Typical_Panda | 113 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ånderkover | +1.36 | 59 | 54 |
| #2 | N3rdtast1c | +0.95 | 66 | 26 |
| #3 | Meelo | +0.91 | 50 | 64 |
| #4 | Grand Digs | +0.09 | 32 | 24 |
| #5 | ebirdyxx | -1.44 | 28 | 58 |





