








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
868 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,694 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 560 | 21% |
| Smokes | 648 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 948 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 538 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $418,750 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Juug | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | Don-Kieke | 46% | 46 |
| #4 | jizyah shortz | 43% | 53 |
| #5 | sweetlou832 | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | sweetlou832 | 42% | 19 |
| #6 | black no dad | 37% | 49 |
| #7 | The Crook | 28% | 18 |
| #8 | DUKE | 20% | 20 |
| #9 | MR. REEEEE | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | black no dad | 29 | 0.0313 |
| #2 | sweetlou832 | 4 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | jizyah shortz | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | DUKE | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | Don-Kieke | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don-Kieke | 102 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | jizyah shortz | 34 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | DUKE | 26 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | MR. REEEEE | 24 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | King | 23 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MR. REEEEE | +2.31 | 62 | 57 |
| #2 | King | +1.72 | 56 | 60 |
| #3 | Juug | +1.10 | 50 | 39 |
| #4 | black no dad | +0.54 | 34 | 26 |
| #5 | sweetlou832 | -0.31 | 59 | 46 |





