










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1308 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,199 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 131 | 6% |
| Smokes | 588 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 813 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 667 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $745,530 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Optimoose prime | 18 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | Jacop | 11 | 0.0315 |
| #3 | SeagullN | 10 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | sasuke | 4 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | Goose | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SeagullN | 87 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | Jacop | 71 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | Gaming Chair | 58 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | 女Bagarn女 | 51 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cracken | 47 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goose | +2.11 | 60 | 63 |
| #2 | SeagullN | +1.24 | 69 | 47 |
| #3 | 女Bagarn女 | +1.09 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | Subric | +1.05 | 80 | 26 |
| #5 | Jacop | +0.99 | 59 | 60 |





