








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
583 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 946 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 290 | 31% |
| Smokes | 372 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 149 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 135 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $260,167 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oliven27 | 51% | 53 |
| #2 | 60hz god | 50% | 50 |
| #3 | Sexy Baby | 45% | 29 |
| #4 | Getgreen | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oliven27 | 51% | 53 |
| #2 | 60hz god | 50% | 50 |
| #3 | Sexy Baby | 45% | 29 |
| #4 | Getgreen | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oliven27 | 8 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | 60hz god | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Sexy Baby | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Getgreen | 2 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oliven27 | 258 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #2 | 60hz god | 179 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Getgreen | 48 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sexy Baby | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oliven27 | +2.39 | 72 | 57 |
| #2 | 60hz god | +0.21 | 56 | 59 |
| #3 | Sensei WU | -0.72 | 34 | 29 |
| #4 | Sexy Baby | -1.06 | 46 | 47 |
| #5 | Getgreen | -2.90 | 10 | 41 |





