








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,173 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 827 | 38% |
| Smokes | 796 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 233 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 317 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $184,520 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sexy Baby | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | 60hz god | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | Oliven27 | 52% | 56 |
| #4 | Sensei WU | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sexy Baby | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | 60hz god | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | Oliven27 | 52% | 56 |
| #4 | Sensei WU | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oliven27 | 7 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | 60hz god | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Sexy Baby | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oliven27 | 291 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #2 | 60hz god | 123 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sensei WU | 26 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | Sexy Baby | 20 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oliven27 | +3.25 | 70 | 52 |
| #2 | Sexy Baby | +1.11 | 58 | 49 |
| #3 | 60hz god | +0.19 | 54 | 60 |
| #4 | Sensei WU | -1.70 | 27 | 20 |
| #5 | Getgreen | -2.05 | 12 | 52 |





