








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
651 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 411 | 31% |
| Smokes | 320 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 374 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 221 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $194,395 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Promethean17% | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | marzi | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | robon | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | Dragoon | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | 𝓢𝓣𝓔𝓕𝓐𝓝 B. 69 | 45% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓢𝓣𝓔𝓕𝓐𝓝 B. 69 | 15 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | robon | 7 | 0.0239 |
| #3 | roud | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Promethean17% | 4 | 0.0211 |
| #5 | Angel | 3 | 0.0103 |





