








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1554 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 262 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 184 matches | ||
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 20 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




202 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
20416 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 51,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12495 | 24% |
| Smokes | 14317 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 12371 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 12068 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,819,694 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1684 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake | 53% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake | 53% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake | 93 | 0.0220 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake | 471 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xan Frank | +2.50 | 68 | 61 |
| #2 | Jake | +1.96 | 79 | 47 |





