










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 307 | 42% |
| Smokes | 205 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 165 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 58 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $185,327 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lipxam | 34% | 70 |
| #2 | ✦ masokitty ✦ | 29% | 14 |
| #3 | Jengels | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lipxam | 34% | 70 |
| #2 | ✦ masokitty ✦ | 29% | 14 |
| #3 | Jengels | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lipxam | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | ✦ masokitty ✦ | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✦ masokitty ✦ | 19 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | lipxam | 17 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #3 | Jengels | 14 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jengels | +0.98 | 67 | 49 |
| #2 | lipxam | -1.27 | 37 | 21 |
| #3 | ✦ masokitty ✦ | -3.11 | 25 | 45 |
| #4 | dbuttersnaps1 | -3.23 | 30 | 34 |





