










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1700 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1399 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1417 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1134 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $261,093 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MasterZ (ง •̀_•́)ง | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | carmo | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | AndréJ | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | nosP, O RETORNO | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | Snoopzin kit bota | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MasterZ (ง •̀_•́)ง | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | carmo | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | AndréJ | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | nosP, O RETORNO | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | Snoopzin kit bota | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nosP, O RETORNO | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | MasterZ (ง •̀_•́)ง | 2 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | AndréJ | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Snoopzin kit bota | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carmo | 110 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | AndréJ | 85 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | nosP, O RETORNO | 54 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Snoopzin kit bota | 43 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | MasterZ (ง •̀_•́)ง | 36 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AndréJ | +1.98 | 57 | 65 |
| #2 | MasterZ (ง •̀_•́)ง | +1.52 | 56 | 64 |
| #3 | carmo | +1.10 | 43 | 72 |
| #4 | markZAOOO- | +0.22 | 55 | 63 |
| #5 | nosP, O RETORNO | -1.52 | 60 | 57 |





