








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
71 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 28 | 17% |
| Smokes | 22 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 10 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 107 | 64% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,530 of utility $8 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | xX_FAC1AL_FR1DAY_Xx | 41% | 29 |
| #8 | Average CS Enjoyer | 36% | 11 |
| #9 | James | 33% | 9 |
| #10 | Super Saiyajin-Braxy | 25% | 4 |
| #11 | Hoss | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Average CS Enjoyer | 40 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #2 | xX_FAC1AL_FR1DAY_Xx | 29 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | James | 20 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Super Saiyajin-Braxy | 19 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #5 | Donkey | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ou Dee | +10.32 | 97 | 47 |
| #2 | FiddlingFiggers | +6.06 | 93 | 78 |
| #3 | xX_FAC1AL_FR1DAY_Xx | +4.54 | 77 | 33 |
| #4 | James | +2.70 | 30 | 59 |
| #5 | Donkey | +1.12 | 64 | 49 |





