








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 185 matches | ||
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




154 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3327 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,965 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3405 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3594 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3051 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2915 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,088,898 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 455 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bane | 41 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | jimmy john | 20 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | Girthquake | 18 | 0.0132 |
| #4 | Kenny | 12 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | 3 | 12 | 0.0212 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bane | 305 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | jimmy john | 97 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Doug Dimmadome | 76 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | 3 | 54 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Girthquake | 34 | 0.02 | 1 min |





