








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 460 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 355 matches | ||
| Wingman | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,284 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3077 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2155 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 5489 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 2563 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,863,550 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wowi bandit.camp | 46% | 262 |
| #2 | Pizzu | 44% | 78 |
| #3 | Dragonspice | 42% | 48 |
| #4 | pinedog | 40% | 343 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wowi bandit.camp | 46% | 262 |
| #2 | Pizzu | 44% | 78 |
| #3 | Dragonspice | 42% | 48 |
| #4 | pinedog | 40% | 343 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pinedog | 14 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Wowi bandit.camp | 13 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Dragonspice | 7 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pinedog | 386 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | Wowi bandit.camp | 216 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | Dragonspice | 194 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pizzu | 175 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1995 Pontiac Sunfire (very gay) | +0.97 | 43 | 54 |
| #2 | Pizzu | +0.24 | 63 | 76 |
| #3 | Dragonspice | -0.42 | 39 | 43 |
| #4 | Wowi bandit.camp | -0.61 | 43 | 59 |
| #5 | pinedog | -4.86 | 25 | 36 |





