








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 329 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2074 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,955 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2008 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3137 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2426 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1384 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $326,004 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 352 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Banny-Bo | 44% | 36 |
| #9 | 1.sus | 41% | 17 |
| #10 | JRD | 35% | 34 |
| #11 | Näggev | 34% | 32 |
| #12 | Nubtuk | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strepoq | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Einár | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | PeT_De$tR0y3r | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Banny-Bo | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | JRD | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Einár | 130 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | PetersPann | 99 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | PeT_De$tR0y3r | 79 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Strepoq | 76 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Banny-Bo | 64 | 0.09 | 2 min |





