








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1786 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1567 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1828 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1598 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $597,183 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 442 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SardineS | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | WarrenSC2 | 69% | 35 |
| #3 | x | 60% | 67 |
| #4 | VampyWorm | 58% | 53 |
| #5 | Grimley | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | x | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | coma | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | j. | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | The | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | 𝓗𝕯𝓝 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | x | 270 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | VampyWorm | 184 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | WarrenSC2 | 138 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | The | 136 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | SUB2POKI | 124 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | x | +3.06 | 62 | 81 |
| #2 | SardineS | +3.03 | 72 | 77 |
| #3 | Grimley | +2.69 | 86 | 51 |
| #4 | SUB2POKI | +1.78 | 47 | 69 |
| #5 | leonidaschrist | -0.11 | 80 | 53 |





