








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 127 matches | ||
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2917 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 945 | 24% |
| Smokes | 968 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1097 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 994 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $975,618 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thurbs | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Milo | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | Tony Two Tap | 55% | 92 |
| #4 | pappas :c | 51% | 51 |
| #5 | NoBo | 51% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Milo | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | Tony Two Tap | 55% | 92 |
| #4 | pappas :c | 51% | 51 |
| #5 | NoBo | 51% | 95 |
| #6 | meow thing | 47% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pappas :c | 11 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | NoBo | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Tony Two Tap | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | meow thing | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Thurbs | 2 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoBo | 189 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | Tony Two Tap | 168 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Milo | 66 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | meow thing | 63 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | pappas :c | 54 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tony Two Tap | +5.97 | 89 | 42 |
| #2 | Milo | +3.51 | 87 | 60 |
| #3 | NoBo | +1.58 | 72 | 73 |
| #4 | meow thing | +1.03 | 79 | 50 |
| #5 | pappas :c | -0.49 | 73 | 60 |





