










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
755 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 317 | 22% |
| Smokes | 422 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 415 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 283 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $408,109 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | in memory of tense | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | Gestapo | 100% | 6 |
| #3 | Dagger | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | nateNN | 73% | 11 |
| #5 | KindSouls | 56% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | in memory of tense | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | Gestapo | 100% | 6 |
| #3 | Dagger | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | nateNN | 73% | 11 |
| #5 | KindSouls | 56% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KindSouls | 13 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | nateNN | 5 | 0.0213 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KindSouls | 44 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #2 | nateNN | 23 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | in memory of tense | 14 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | Gestapo | 7 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Dagger | 4 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gestapo | +15.42 | 100 | 60 |
| #2 | nateNN | +4.25 | 81 | 41 |
| #3 | KindSouls | +1.91 | 73 | 25 |
| #4 | DiKo | -1.43 | 60 | 38 |
| #5 | in memory of tense | -2.34 | 29 | 57 |





