








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,144 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 723 | 23% |
| Smokes | 898 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 793 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 730 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $336,356 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zmachine | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | wacked- | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | lostee | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | p1ksel | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Hmm | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Mossy | 44% | 27 |
| #9 | WESTiiE | 36% | 11 |
| #10 | illume | 33% | 6 |
| #11 | BIGTOE | 33% | 6 |
| #12 | Wixinho | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lostee | 2 | 0.0030 |





