








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 882 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 685 matches | ||
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




134 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10683 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12172 | 29% |
| Smokes | 11666 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8663 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 10056 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,289,708 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1003 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edward | 49% | 612 |
| #2 | RAIDEN696 | 48% | 474 |
| #3 | Wilder2Kâ | 48% | 241 |
| #4 | Mr.Weed | 45% | 115 |
| #5 | -G0RD1- | 45% | 258 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | RAIDEN696 | 48% | 474 |
| #3 | Wilder2Kâ | 48% | 241 |
| #4 | Mr.Weed | 45% | 115 |
| #5 | -G0RD1- | 45% | 258 |
| #6 | FroZ | 41% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edward | 74 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | RAIDEN696 | 44 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | -G0RD1- | 24 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Wilder2Kâ | 24 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Mr.Weed | 17 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edward | 4711 | 0.36 | 114 min |
| #2 | RAIDEN696 | 1059 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #3 | -G0RD1- | 654 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #4 | Mr.Weed | 530 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #5 | Wilder2Kâ | 478 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zerofuku | +2.28 | 63 | 65 |
| #2 | Wilder2Kâ | +0.33 | 46 | 59 |
| #3 | Edward | +0.02 | 48 | 76 |
| #4 | Mr.Weed | -1.16 | 51 | 60 |
| #5 | -G0RD1- | -1.72 | 50 | 53 |





