








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 294 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2908 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,537 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4055 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4057 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3670 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2755 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $904,289 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 197 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Weed | 46% | 112 |
| #2 | Kruxe | 42% | 26 |
| #3 | Hatman | 41% | 87 |
| #4 | LeS | 39% | 97 |
| #5 | Capibara S1mple | 38% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Hatman | 41% | 87 |
| #4 | LeS | 39% | 97 |
| #5 | Capibara S1mple | 38% | 97 |
| #6 | -G0RD1- | 33% | 40 |
| #7 | Lowelo | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hatman | 18 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | LeS | 17 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Mr.Weed | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Capibara S1mple | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | -G0RD1- | 6 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Weed | 702 | 0.30 | 18 min |
| #2 | LeS | 594 | 0.30 | 14 min |
| #3 | Hatman | 409 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #4 | Capibara S1mple | 179 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Lowelo | 162 | 0.39 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hatman | +3.83 | 59 | 63 |
| #2 | LeS | +1.44 | 54 | 73 |
| #3 | Lowelo | +1.06 | 39 | 54 |
| #4 | -G0RD1- | +0.49 | 47 | 54 |
| #5 | Mr.Weed | +0.36 | 47 | 64 |





