








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,268 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1918 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1529 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 801 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1020 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $382,158 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◉◡◉ҠҠHАNA_МÄӀЛЛЛ ◉◡◉ | 63% | 41 |
| #2 | mnntrl | 63% | 32 |
| #3 | NOTYYLII | 58% | 92 |
| #4 | KarlKari | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | jakem0nn1 | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | jakem0nn1 | 50% | 20 |
| #6 | Rutto-Alina | 45% | 33 |
| #7 | Samppalj | 29% | 7 |
| #8 | Mikkob | 29% | 7 |
| #9 | trysn | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NOTYYLII | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Rutto-Alina | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | ◉◡◉ҠҠHАNA_МÄӀЛЛЛ ◉◡◉ | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | trysn | 2 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | mnntrl | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NOTYYLII | 256 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | ◉◡◉ҠҠHАNA_МÄӀЛЛЛ ◉◡◉ | 213 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #3 | Rutto-Alina | 101 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | mnntrl | 28 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | jakem0nn1 | 20 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retardosmaximus | +2.30 | 77 | 76 |
| #2 | mnntrl | +0.98 | 47 | 67 |
| #3 | jakem0nn1 | +0.42 | 50 | 70 |
| #4 | ◉◡◉ҠҠHАNA_МÄӀЛЛЛ ◉◡◉ | -0.36 | 43 | 76 |
| #5 | KarlKari | -0.43 | 56 | 45 |





