








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 873 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1090 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10953 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10084 | 27% |
| Smokes | 9073 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9782 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 7811 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,485,396 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1867 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retardosmaximus | 58% | 92 |
| #2 | KarlKari | 56% | 95 |
| #3 | ◉◡◉ҠҠHАNA_МÄӀЛЛЛ ◉◡◉ | 54% | 196 |
| #4 | jakem0nn1 | 54% | 89 |
| #5 | DeviouZ | 53% | 169 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◉◡◉ҠҠHАNA_МÄӀЛЛЛ ◉◡◉ | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Rutto-Alina | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | DeviouZ | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | mnntrl | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | KarlKari | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◉◡◉ҠҠHАNA_МÄӀЛЛЛ ◉◡◉ | 1160 | 0.28 | 36 min |
| #2 | Rutto-Alina | 969 | 0.15 | 29 min |
| #3 | DeviouZ | 660 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #4 | retardosmaximus | 407 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #5 | mnntrl | 259 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retardosmaximus | +2.61 | 77 | 78 |
| #2 | mnntrl | +1.83 | 58 | 59 |
| #3 | DeviouZ | +1.79 | 79 | 78 |
| #4 | jakem0nn1 | +1.13 | 59 | 67 |
| #5 | ◉◡◉ҠҠHАNA_МÄӀЛЛЛ ◉◡◉ | +0.30 | 46 | 81 |





