








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 495 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 347 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7064 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,481 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3357 | 16% |
| Smokes | 6701 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4134 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6289 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,244,814 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HighJayster | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | HighJayster | 55% | 203 |
| #3 | KINGK ใโกโ | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | Jadibuti | 50% | 195 |
| #5 | Zywoo-uldn't | 39% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HighJayster | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | HighJayster | 55% | 203 |
| #3 | KINGK ใโกโ | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | Jadibuti | 50% | 195 |
| #5 | Zywoo-uldn't | 39% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zywoo-uldn't | 18 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | HighJayster | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Jadibuti | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | KINGK ใโกโ | 5 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zywoo-uldn't | 346 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | HighJayster | 291 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | Jadibuti | 250 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | KINGK ใโกโ | 121 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | HighJayster | 78 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HighJayster | +5.00 | 79 | 50 |
| #2 | HighJayster | +3.97 | 83 | 49 |
| #3 | KINGK ใโกโ | +1.34 | 66 | 52 |
| #4 | Zywoo-uldn't | +0.98 | 70 | 50 |
| #5 | Jadibuti | +0.65 | 57 | 57 |





