








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 863 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 153 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,138 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2092 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2272 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1766 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2008 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $690,422 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 721 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 风水 benny from the block | 67% | 51 |
| #6 | Johncock | 67% | 129 |
| #7 | 4Skin | 66% | 35 |
| #8 | bloggershnogger | 64% | 64 |
| #9 | Breaded Chicken | 55% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bloggershnogger | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Johncock | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | shinaro | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Breaded Chicken | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | 4Skin | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johncock | 443 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | bloggershnogger | 187 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | shinaro | 157 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪ DankGasman | 139 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Breaded Chicken | 95 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shinaro | +4.10 | 84 | 57 |
| #2 | ✪ DankGasman | +2.79 | 84 | 68 |
| #3 | bloggershnogger | +1.42 | 71 | 70 |
| #4 | Breaded Chicken | +1.35 | 71 | 73 |
| #5 | Squidge | +0.86 | 81 | 67 |





