








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 764 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 240 matches | ||
| Faceit | 154 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 161 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,351 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2170 | 15% |
| Smokes | 4221 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4243 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3717 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,339,456 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squidge | 69% | 108 |
| #2 | 4Skin | 58% | 77 |
| #3 | Breaded Chicken | 56% | 117 |
| #4 | bloggershnogger | 56% | 115 |
| #5 | Johncock | 54% | 412 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | bloggershnogger | 56% | 115 |
| #5 | Johncock | 54% | 412 |
| #6 | 风水 benny from the block | 54% | 128 |
| #7 | shinaro | 54% | 143 |
| #8 | Mexy | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johncock | 27 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | bloggershnogger | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Breaded Chicken | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | 风水 benny from the block | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Squidge | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johncock | 1021 | 0.11 | 27 min |
| #2 | bloggershnogger | 338 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Squidge | 305 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Breaded Chicken | 294 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | shinaro | 267 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shinaro | +3.40 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | ✪ DankGasman | +1.89 | 81 | 65 |
| #3 | Squidge | +0.86 | 79 | 67 |
| #4 | Breaded Chicken | +0.61 | 69 | 69 |
| #5 | bloggershnogger | +0.52 | 71 | 67 |





