










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,276 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 616 | 27% |
| Smokes | 660 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 453 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 547 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $147,434 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h4rn | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | xia ...turbodog | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | ky0cr1m1n4t0r | 71% | 24 |
| #4 | Mokuj1n | 69% | 13 |
| #5 | alkarenn | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ky0cr1m1n4t0r | 71% | 24 |
| #4 | Mokuj1n | 69% | 13 |
| #5 | alkarenn | 63% | 8 |
| #6 | Ryujin | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | Qweall | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ky0cr1m1n4t0r | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ky0cr1m1n4t0r | 70 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | alkarenn | 38 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #3 | Mokuj1n | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | h4rn | 27 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | Qweall | 22 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ky0cr1m1n4t0r | +4.05 | 95 | 56 |
| #2 | syph0 | +2.54 | 92 | 73 |
| #3 | Mokuj1n | +1.95 | 86 | 62 |
| #4 | alkarenn | +0.55 | 75 | 69 |
| #5 | Ryujin | -0.13 | 93 | 65 |





