








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
638 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 575 | 28% |
| Smokes | 541 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 434 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 527 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $199,290 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lights | 88% | 17 |
| #2 | natural | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | syph0 | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | henky | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | cutting veins | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | cutting veins | 67% | 6 |
| #6 | creZe | 67% | 18 |
| #7 | khaN | 57% | 14 |
| #8 | T4gg3D | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | Angelka | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lights | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lights | 65 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | creZe | 57 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | cutting veins | 34 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | T4gg3D | 31 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #5 | khaN | 29 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | khaN | +8.37 | 92 | 65 |
| #2 | lights | +6.96 | 96 | 76 |
| #3 | syph0 | +3.51 | 94 | 74 |
| #4 | natural | +3.10 | 98 | 68 |
| #5 | xia ...turbodog | +1.51 | 83 | 54 |





