








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1025 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 628 matches | ||
| Wingman | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7623 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,298 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3073 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5340 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5620 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3265 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,578,339 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p0licious | 57% | 84 |
| #2 | KooL | 51% | 170 |
| #3 | Fr34k! | 51% | 847 |
| #4 | moop | 50% | 683 |
| #5 | lions | 49% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | KooL | 51% | 170 |
| #3 | Fr34k! | 51% | 847 |
| #4 | moop | 50% | 683 |
| #5 | lions | 49% | 91 |
| #6 | k1ckstart | 49% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fr34k! | 63 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | moop | 13 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | KooL | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | lions | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | p0licious | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moop | 3537 | 0.24 | 82 min |
| #2 | Fr34k! | 1664 | 0.10 | 33 min |
| #3 | lions | 645 | 0.33 | 22 min |
| #4 | k1ckstart | 360 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #5 | KooL | 301 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moop | +1.93 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | KooL | +0.62 | 64 | 62 |
| #3 | muck | +0.37 | 76 | 50 |
| #4 | Fr34k! | -0.39 | 73 | 57 |
| #5 | p0licious | -0.47 | 63 | 60 |





