








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 685 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 773 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6444 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,486 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4942 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4768 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 8980 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 2796 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,505,256 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 460 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕄𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕪 | 53% | 497 |
| #2 | SUPPAAANIGGAAA | 52% | 478 |
| #3 | MEOW | 50% | 88 |
| #4 | Rainy | 48% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕄𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕪 | 53% | 497 |
| #2 | SUPPAAANIGGAAA | 52% | 478 |
| #3 | MEOW | 50% | 88 |
| #4 | Rainy | 48% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕄𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕪 | 17 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | SUPPAAANIGGAAA | 16 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | MEOW | 11 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Rainy | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SUPPAAANIGGAAA | 2148 | 0.21 | 48 min |
| #2 | Rainy | 666 | 0.25 | 16 min |
| #3 | 𝕄𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕪 | 580 | 0.06 | 16 min |
| #4 | MEOW | 266 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SUPPAAANIGGAAA | +0.79 | 54 | 74 |
| #2 | Rainy | +0.63 | 69 | 67 |
| #3 | Привет | -0.30 | 58 | 58 |
| #4 | MEOW | -0.78 | 63 | 60 |
| #5 | 𝕄𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕪 | -0.97 | 55 | 53 |





