










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
751 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,489 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 768 | 31% |
| Smokes | 585 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 687 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 449 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $947,195 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 281 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAVI Ben | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | Calaksta | 55% | 157 |
| #3 | Man Of Bean Ethnicity | 54% | 153 |
| #4 | Bread pitt | 41% | 22 |
| #5 | Positive Mindset Gaming | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Man Of Bean Ethnicity | 54% | 153 |
| #4 | Bread pitt | 41% | 22 |
| #5 | Positive Mindset Gaming | 29% | 14 |
| #6 | jwjw | 20% | 20 |
| #7 | Shad0w | 17% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Calaksta | 50 | 0.0166 |
| #2 | Man Of Bean Ethnicity | 26 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | NAVI Ben | 12 | 0.0211 |
| #4 | jwjw | 9 | 0.0245 |
| #5 | Bread pitt | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Man Of Bean Ethnicity | 278 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Calaksta | 183 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | NAVI Ben | 39 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Bread pitt | 30 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Shad0w | 22 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Calaksta | +6.52 | 70 | 48 |
| #2 | NAVI Ben | +3.54 | 64 | 20 |
| #3 | Man Of Bean Ethnicity | +3.48 | 50 | 51 |
| #4 | Bread pitt | +3.23 | 40 | 48 |
| #5 | Positive Mindset Gaming | +0.86 | 42 | 29 |





