








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 147 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7100 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,472 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3211 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3056 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2953 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1252 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,746,824 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1581 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Baldwin IV of Jerusalem | 45% | 129 |
| #2 | cobwebz | 43% | 521 |
| #3 | Zero Two | 39% | 129 |
| #4 | Abe | 33% | 171 |
| #5 | Spartanopsada | 14% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Baldwin IV of Jerusalem | 45% | 129 |
| #2 | cobwebz | 43% | 521 |
| #3 | Zero Two | 39% | 129 |
| #4 | Abe | 33% | 171 |
| #5 | Spartanopsada | 14% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abe | 67 | 0.0198 |
| #2 | cobwebz | 36 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | King Baldwin IV of Jerusalem | 15 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Zero Two | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Spartanopsada | 7 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cobwebz | 817 | 0.08 | 19 min |
| #2 | Abe | 739 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #3 | King Baldwin IV of Jerusalem | 315 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Zero Two | 54 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Spartanopsada | 32 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zero Two | +5.05 | 69 | 30 |
| #2 | Abe | +2.24 | 43 | 61 |
| #3 | King Baldwin IV of Jerusalem | +1.75 | 36 | 59 |
| #4 | PIZZARAT | +1.50 | 39 | 45 |
| #5 | cobwebz | -3.07 | 28 | 43 |





