








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1406 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 993 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7751 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,224 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4884 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4843 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5153 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5344 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,596,010 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 943 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TVNDRXSH | 48% | 269 |
| #2 | JR | 46% | 112 |
| #3 | Bald_Beaver69 | 45% | 430 |
| #4 | imkaisu | 42% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TVNDRXSH | 48% | 269 |
| #2 | JR | 46% | 112 |
| #3 | Bald_Beaver69 | 45% | 430 |
| #4 | imkaisu | 42% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TVNDRXSH | 18 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Bald_Beaver69 | 15 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | imkaisu | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | JR | 8 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bald_Beaver69 | 784 | 0.09 | 21 min |
| #2 | TVNDRXSH | 531 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | JR | 180 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | imkaisu | 132 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JR | +3.47 | 72 | 52 |
| #2 | TVNDRXSH | +3.37 | 80 | 59 |
| #3 | Bald_Beaver69 | +1.42 | 62 | 64 |
| #4 | Sniff The Biff | -0.93 | 50 | 39 |
| #5 | imkaisu | -2.32 | 32 | 50 |





