








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 287 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3869 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2765 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3173 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2097 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2171 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $515,192 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 378 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JR | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | Bald_Beaver69 | 48% | 81 |
| #3 | Sniff The Biff | 48% | 269 |
| #4 | imkaisu | 34% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JR | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | Bald_Beaver69 | 48% | 81 |
| #3 | Sniff The Biff | 48% | 269 |
| #4 | imkaisu | 34% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sniff The Biff | 15 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | JR | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Bald_Beaver69 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | imkaisu | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sniff The Biff | 517 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | Bald_Beaver69 | 145 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | JR | 61 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | imkaisu | 27 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TVNDRXSH | +2.82 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | JR | +2.18 | 73 | 53 |
| #3 | Bald_Beaver69 | +0.19 | 63 | 63 |
| #4 | Sniff The Biff | -2.67 | 48 | 40 |
| #5 | imkaisu | -2.79 | 31 | 52 |





