










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,243 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2817 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3057 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2421 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2948 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $930,641 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bml | 50% | 26 |
| #2 | stallion | 49% | 200 |
| #3 | Butters | 47% | 47 |
| #4 | chilli | 46% | 39 |
| #5 | BROC | 45% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Butters | 47% | 47 |
| #4 | chilli | 46% | 39 |
| #5 | BROC | 45% | 66 |
| #6 | Elfa | 42% | 77 |
| #7 | Dolo | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stallion | 26 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | BROC | 9 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | bml | 8 | 0.0149 |
| #4 | Butters | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | chilli | 3 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stallion | 489 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | Elfa | 191 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | BROC | 163 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | bml | 130 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | Butters | 72 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chilli | +3.19 | 86 | 48 |
| #2 | stallion | +3.09 | 80 | 54 |
| #3 | Elfa | +2.62 | 79 | 57 |
| #4 | bml | +1.06 | 72 | 47 |
| #5 | BROC | +0.32 | 74 | 49 |





