








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 442 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,729 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4610 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4255 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2099 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2765 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $377,811 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Chief Beer | 44% | 254 |
| #6 | khanflick.mn | GENGH1S KH4N | 43% | 229 |
| #7 | rwinzzz | 37% | 73 |
| #8 | Aquiii | 34% | 146 |
| #9 | yes | 32% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chief Beer | 16 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | jstyn | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | yes | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | khanflick.mn | GENGH1S KH4N | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Aquiii | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jstyn | 891 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #2 | Chief Beer | 817 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #3 | khanflick.mn | GENGH1S KH4N | 648 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #4 | Aquiii | 251 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | LittleNebula | 118 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jstyn | +3.35 | 88 | 71 |
| #2 | khanflick.mn | GENGH1S KH4N | +0.70 | 73 | 43 |
| #3 | Chief Beer | -1.13 | 75 | 45 |
| #4 | the ULTIMATE employee | -1.27 | 48 | 59 |
| #5 | yes | -1.70 | 54 | 33 |





